Episode 5: Pema Chödrön and the Neurobiology of Sitting With Discomfort
- Georgina Brown (hershe)
- Jul 28
- 3 min read
Why Bravery Isn’t Loud – It’s Curious, Compassionate, and Still
“Nothing ever goes away until it has taught us what we need to know.”— Pema Chödrön
She’s the calm in the chaos.
The radical in robes.
The woman who taught thousands of trauma-soaked Western minds to stay.
Pema Chödrön doesn’t just whisper wisdom —she rewires you.
And like all our favourite thinkers here at BARDO, she’s not just spiritually deep.
She’s neurologically accurate.
What Pema Knew (Before Neuroscience Caught Up)
Modern neurobiology tells us:
Avoidance strengthens fear loops.
Suppression increases stress reactivity.
And presence , real, raw, unfiltered presence, builds cognitive flexibility and emotional resilience.
Pema’s entire practice?
Stay with the discomfort. Breathe into the fear. Get curious about the edge.
No spiritual bypassing.
No fixing.Just feeling, and befriending, your own nervous system.
Neuroscience Translates Pema:
Pema Principle | Neuroscience Translation |
“Stay.” | Exposure therapy reduces avoidance responses. |
“Drop the storyline.” | Default Mode Network deactivation during meditation. |
“Feel what you feel.” | Interoception increases emotional regulation. |
“Compassion starts with yourself.” | Self-compassion boosts oxytocin and vagal tone. |
In short:
Staying with your discomfort trains your brain to not flinch from inclusion, complexity, or change.
What This Means for Inclusion
Let’s be honest — inclusion isn’t always comfortable.
It means confronting:
Power you didn’t realise you had.
Privilege you’d rather not name.
Pain you accidentally caused (even with the best intentions).
This is where most training fails.
People flinch. Freeze. Fight.And nothing changes.
But Pema teaches us how to sit through that storm, without turning away.
The NIMM Lens: Inclusion as Nervous System Work
In BARDO’s Neuro-Inclusive Maturity Model, one of our pillars is Cognitive Flexibility — the ability to pause, reflect, and change course.
Pema Chödrön is a living masterclass in this.
“Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us.”
Translation:You grow through sitting with the stuff you normally run from.
And so does your workplace.
Try This: The 90-Second Pause Practice
The next time discomfort bubbles up — in a meeting, a conversation, or a moment of feedback:
Notice the story you’re telling yourself.
Drop it. Come back to your body.
Breathe for 90 seconds. Don’t act. Don’t defend. Don’t fix.
Ask: “What is this here to teach me?”
You’ve just rewired your response pattern.
You’ve just made space for inclusion.
The Real Work
Pema teaches us that:
Bravery is staying when you want to bolt.
Compassion is a practice, not a personality trait.
And clarity only comes through the fire of feeling.
And if that’s not the foundation of inclusion, we don’t know what is.
Want More Pema in Your Life?
Start here:
When Things Fall Apart – the holy grail of compassionate neuroscience.
The Places That Scare You – practical, poetic, and unflinchingly honest.
Comfortable with Uncertainty – bite-sized daily wisdom that hits you sideways.
Reflect:
When was the last time you stayed with discomfort instead of escaping it?
What situations, identities, or conversations activate your flight response?
How might slowing down actually speed up your inclusion journey?
Next in the Series:
Episode 6: Gabor Maté and the Trauma-Informed Brain: What Real Inclusion Requires
It’s not “bad behaviour”—it’s biology. We unpack Maté’s approach to trauma and stress and show how nervous-system literacy can create safer, more resilient workplaces.
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