top of page
Search

NeuroReal Series: Episode 8: You Can’t Build Trust on a Deadline: How Oxytocin Fuels Belonging (and What Kills It)

Trust. Everyone wants it. Every leadership team lists it.

And every new team member is expected to “just trust the process.”


But trust isn’t a corporate policy.It’s a chemical.


Specifically: oxytocin.That magical molecule responsible for bonding, empathy, and “I’ve got your back” energy. Also known as the neurotransmitter of belonging.


So if you're wondering why your carefully crafted culture deck hasn’t built deep psychological safety — this post is for you.

Trust :)

What is Oxytocin?

Oxytocin is a hormone and neurotransmitter released when we feel safe, connected, and emotionally attuned to others. Think:

  • A hug from someone you love

  • A shared laugh that makes you feel seen

  • Genuine eye contact, with no agenda


In the workplace, oxytocin plays a big role in:

  • Team bonding

  • Empathy and perspective-taking

  • Collaboration and trust

  • Altruism and pro-social behaviour


It’s the neurochemical that turns “co-workers” into humans you want to build something with.

So… Can We Just Spray It?

Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately?), no.

Oxytocin isn’t released because you said the word “team” ten times in your strategy document or added “inclusive” to your values slide.

It’s released when our brains feel:

  • Safe (no threat from judgment, shame, or exclusion)

  • Seen (acknowledged and emotionally mirrored)

  • Synchronous (in rhythm with others — shared focus, goals, gestures)

  • Safety First

What Kills Oxytocin?

Oxytocin and cortisol (the stress hormone) have an antagonistic relationship. When cortisol rises, oxytocin plummets.


So environments where people feel:

  • Micromanaged

  • Tokenised

  • Under constant threat of being “found out”

  • Excluded or misunderstood

…will literally chemically block trust from forming.


Yes, even with those lovely values posters.

Three NeuroNudges to Build Trust (For Real)

1. Slow Down the Onboarding

Give people real time to build psychological safety. Use rituals, pairings, and reflection practices. You don’t bond under pressure — you bond through repetition and warmth.


2. Create “Oxytocin Moments”

That means:

  • Eye contact in 1-to-1s

  • Open body language

  • Acts of empathy, kindness, and humourThese aren’t fluffy extras. They’re neurological glue.


3. Name the Tension, Not Just the Tasks

If something feels off — say it. Let others name it too. Safety increases when people feel they can name their reality without punishment.

What NIMM Does Differently

The NeuroInclusive Maturity Model (NIMM) recognises that trust isn’t just a value.It’s a neurochemical state that has to be built intentionally.


That’s why NIMM:

  • Bakes in trust-building rituals across its domains

  • Includes emotional literacy and mirroring practices

  • Helps teams regulate stress so oxytocin has a fighting chance


This is inclusion that works with the biology, not against it.

Final Word

Trust doesn’t arrive on cue. It doesn’t respect deadlines or strategy decks.

It grows. It bonds. It rewires the brain over time.


So let’s stop faking psychological safety and start creating the conditions for oxytocin to do its thing.


Because once trust takes root, everything else becomes possible.

This is the end of the NeuroReal Series.

See you in the New Year!


Comments

bottom of page